Self Care Doesn't mean " me first " it means " me too"

 

Self care noun is defined as the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress. 

The four dimensions to self care: maintaining your emotional, physical, psychological, and spiritual health. When was the last time you checked off all of those boxes, and didn't feel guilty about it?

When you first become a mom, self care is the first thing that gets put on the back burner. Everything that makes you, YOU, like exercise, reading, crafting, writing, biking, binge watching netflix....what ever it is that you do to boost YOURSELF goes out the window. Soon, simple everyday, necessary tasks, needed for survival, get switched out for your self care habits. You find yourself "making time" to take a shower and actually wash your hair, taking a nap, or sitting down and enjoy a meal while it's still hot. Sadly, accomplishing all of these tasks as a new mom, makes you feel "human". LADIES....maintaining hygiene, nourishing your body with sleep and food....is not self care!

2020 was rough for many reasons. We started off getting extra time back with our children, that we normally wouldn't have had. It was great. We got to ignore alarms, eat lunch outside, stay up late watching movies and lounge around in pajamas all day. But then 1 week turned in 1 month, and 1 month turned into 7 months, and then before we knew it we were juggling learning 1st grade algebra in between decorating the Christmas tree. We were swimming in laundry that got switched out between school lessons, but never found the time to fold. The dishes were piling up, because 3 kids need to eat at least 5 meals a day, plus 30 snacks, but there's barely any time to prepare those meals, let alone eat them and clean it all up, before your 12:30 online math class. The amazing thing about it all, is you're the only one in the dang house who seems to notice that it's all slowly crumbling down. But don't worry, because in between making supper and reciting spelling words, you find the time to lather the bricks up and stack them back up while no one is looking.  It's fine. It's all fine. Everything is fine. Mom's got it. We have 0 patience left, we're smelly, hungry, exhausted and can't button our jeans, but we've got it. 

It's day 2349023890 of this pandemic and here you are, resorting back to new mom mode. You haven't washed your hair all week, but hey, you managed to squeeze in that 3 minute shower during lunch break today! You even found time to shove a Hershey kiss in your mouth, with out any of the kids seeing! Go you! Freaking 2020. Moms were dealt this rusty, motor less junkyard lemon, and expected to polish it up and make it run with no extra parts or help, like the miracle workers that we are. Well you know what, we did it. It didn't always run the smoothest, and occasionally broke down, but we did it. 

But, there is light at the end of this long, tortuous tunnel, this I promise you! All 3 kids went back to school today. I have been demoted from teacher/mom to just mom, and it feels great! For the first time in what feels like an eternity, we have our routine back! I had no idea how suffocated I felt until I was riding in the car by myself after drop off, and felt so much lighter. I came home, and dusted off my overly large water bottle and filled that baby up. I turned on a yoga video. I planned a coffee/play date for the week. I sat down for the first time in 10 months and wrote. I did me. Not mom, but me. I practiced self care for the first time in 10 months.  

Is there a sink full of breakfast dishes? Yep. Is there laundry to be washed, folded and put away? You bet there is. But it can wait. Not because I'm homeschooling, while raising 3 kids, and checking off the holidays to-do list. But because today I want to remember what it's like to practice self care, with out having to feel guilty about it. We spent so much time making life feel "normal" and holding it together because falling apart was never an option for us. We did our best to stay on top of everything while holding the fort down in a hurricane. There was not enough time, for one person, to do it all. Not every day was perfect. But we survived. Applaud yourself momma. Because raising kids today, is far from easy, and doing it stuck inside of a pandemic globe is even harder. 

So what are you going to do today, for your own happiness? Whether it's sitting in silence with your own thoughts, enjoying warm coffee, dusting off those exercise dvds, or going for a walk by yourself. Do it. You deserve to take time for you, and not feel guilty for it.