The Hiking Boots and Funeral Shoes Friend

Find yourself that friend.

Everyone has the friend that won't think twice about spending a free day with you. An absolutely I'll go shopping for the perfect shoes, eat tacos and drink margaritas with you friend. The down for anything friend, always up for a good time friend.

There's the friend you can arrange a monthly dinner date with, pick up right where you left off, laugh for a few hours and then go your separate ways again. There's something special about those friends.  You have stories. You have ties. They were there in the past and you know they'll be there in the future.

I'm talking about THAT friend though. The one who doesn't have a free day but will run your errands with you anyways because she knows sometimes just having someone next to you makes it a little easier. That friend who's not afraid to do life with you. The one who makes life seem manageable.

That friend that you can show up at her door step any time of day. When you tell her to crack one open, she won't even question why. She doesn't hesitate to grab her garage drinks at 9:30 in the morning. She has no idea if you're about to cry, laugh or celebrate. She's ready. Being mad at the person who wronged you or your kid? She's got you. Listening to your parenting or marital woes? She's all ears. Laughing at the most recent way you made an idiot of yourself. She's defiantly got you. Celebrating your first day out of the house without sick kids in 5 weeks? Let's party. Even if it means she's calling your husband to come pick you up on a random Wednesday afternoon because you found out that wine slushies and beef sticks are not a suitable breakfast for adults. 

That friend that pulls over to the side of the road to call and ask if you're okay when you send her the "I might be dying from the stomach bug" text. Just in case she has to turn around and bring you medical supplies. The one who sends you a text and says "there's soup on your porch" as she's backing out of the driveway.

A friend who opens her arms and her door with no judgement. She's your safe place.

That one friend who enters your neglected home. Unloads your groceries with you. She clears a spot to set her drink, nonchalantly wipes the crumbs off the bottom of her feet and has a seat as if she were at home.

The one who you can show up to her house for a couple hours. The kids run wild in the rain while you talk about anything and nothing. You use her towels to dry your kids, take some of her eggs, plants, cat medicine and leave. 

A friend who is real. She's not just there for the sunny days. She shows up during life's darkest storms. Not asking what to do, she just knows, she always knows. 

That one friend who hops in your car before you go into the restaurant. She knows you need to cry ugly tears. She listens, you both cry, clean yourselves up and then go eat your sandwich like nothing's wrong.

That friend who gives up her day to drive you to your medical scan. Sits in the parking lot for 3 hours. Then drives you to your doctors afterwards because you're too stubborn to be admitted to the hospital. She'll sit across from you as the doctor tells you what needs done and she nods her head in agreeance to the point the doctor may or may not think she's your life partner. You need THAT friend. The one who's in the thick of it with you so much that people think she's your wife.

A friend who makes you realize being a wife and mom doesn't actually look like the world portrays. It's messy and raw. It's not filtered. But she also makes you realize that it's okay. That it's real and real doesn't mean perfect. She makes you realize you're not alone and you're not actually failing. You take turns building each other up. Leaning on each other. Pulling each other out of the depths of it all when it feels too much. You both rarely function at your fullest potential. It's okay because you've got each other to pick up the slack when the other one drops it. Neither of you keep score. 

You need that friend who will take you shopping 1.5 weeks post op for hiking boots. She'll give you her socks because you're not adult enough to wear your own. Not only will she give you her socks, but she'll put them on your feet. She'll put every boot on and off and tie them too. All because you thought it'd make you feel like a person to put jeans on 1.5 weeks after abdominal surgery. Now you can't bend over. She also tells you you're stupid for wearing jeans. Everyone deserves that friend. 

That friend who knows you won't make yourself a priority. She knows you need funeral shoes but shopping for shoes is the last thing on your mind. She casually invites you along with her to run her errands for the day. Suddenly funeral shoes become a minor task in the middle of Lowes, Starbucks and Walmart. 

She's the friend who feels like she may not always be giving everything her best. You know though without a doubt that she's killing it. You idolize her strength. You will forever be standing beside her, behind her or in front of her. Reminding her of her worth. Because when you were getting lost in the darkest parts of life she appeared. THAT friend found you. She reached for your hand when no one else would and led the way. She made you stand tall when you felt like shrinking. 

So, dinner dates?  Perfect shoes? Those friends are great.

Hiking boots and funeral shoes, though? That's the friend we all deserve. The nitty gritty friend. They're there for the fun stuff with everyone else, but normally the only one at your door for the ugly stuff. Find yourself that friend.