Dear son, you will see the silver lining when you're older...
My sweet boy,
I am aware all the moms are cracking jokes about being quarantined with their kids. I get it, I'm one of them. You must realize this is a big adjustment. Every day schedules are being tossed in the blender and you know I thrive on my schedule. Then there is the fact that moms do it all, and now we are adding teacher to our resume. The thought of having to teach a mini version of yourself and then pile the laundry on top, it's no wonder we all started to freak out. But after checking in with all my mom friends after the initial shock wore off, we all agreed, there is a silver lining to this chaos.
I went from getting 30 "good" hours with you, to getting you for 24/7. That 30 hours doesn't include the dreadful time we get during the week where we are struggling to get out the door in the morning, arguing over homework in the evenings or spent sleeping.The 24 waking hours on the weekend are no longer the greatest either. You're in recharge mode from the previous week. You're sleepy, you're lurking around the house looking for something to do, you're arguing with your sisters to give you space, and we are preparing for what the week ahead has in store. Life is a blur. Now, I'm getting time back with you, I otherwise wouldn't have had. This isn't like a summer break, or any other school break. This is time, that if it weren't for this dreadful virus, I never would have had with you. This time, is truly a gift.
I will admit the first week was rocky. We weren't sure how we fit into each other's daily week lives anymore. There were adjustments, and adjustments to those adjustments. There was a lot of repetitive explaining. You couldn't understand that this wasn't just a long weekend. That you weren't going back to see your friends or teachers any time soon. I think now, on week 2, we have got a good thing going on. You no longer ask if today is the day you go back to school. You stopped asking to have play dates. You get it now and I mostly, kind of, think I'm getting it too. I must say, now that we are getting it, I am loving it. I am loving getting more time to love you.
You're not the little boy I sent into kindergarten last fall. You have matured and grown way more than I realized until now. Instead of the constant fighting I am used to hearing in the evenings and weekends, our house has filled with laughter. You brought that laughter. I'm finally getting the best version of you, the version your teachers have been getting all this year. I have to admit, I am jealous. I figured this version of you still existed, but I ever so rarely get to witness it. Now I am getting to experience it full on. I had no idea how much I really missed you, until I got you back. It will honestly be hard to let you go again, just as it was on that very first day of school.
Instead of the school week morning whirlwinds, there are sit down breakfasts. There is chatter about what we will do today. Then there is the time I get to truly see how much you have learned at school. There is you helping your sisters with their letter sounds and numbers. You're so helpful around the house. When you are fully charged, you're so willing to help with anything that needs done. Then there is coloring, we have done lots of coloring. Scavenger hunts, playing in the mud, board games and pretend play. We are getting the best of each other for a change and fully taking advantage of that. Watching you join your sister's tea party ( normally you wouldn't want to waste any of your free time doing such silly things ) and you playing house with them brings such a warmth to my heart. Your sisters will always remember these special times with you, I will make sure of it. The pictures of you dressed up in a wedding gown will be the proof if they do.
Last night you asked me if I wanted to have a sleep over with you in your room. You spent all day cleaning your room for the sleep over. Again, something you normally wouldn't want to waste your weekend time doing. We colored and ate popcorn in bed. We watched a movie and you laid your head on my belly. You let me run my fingers through your overgrown hair (my bad for not booking that hair cut sooner, now salons are closed). Then you started to softly snore and I moved you to your side of the bed and tucked you in. You snuggled right in to your favorite toys. So at peace. I laid there with popcorn kernels stuck to my legs, staring at your long eyelashes, because they are the only thing on you that hasn't changed. You're growing, all too fast. No longer my baby faced boy. God do I love your face. I can say that with out sounding too creepy, it's a privilege as a mother.
I can't help but think, if this school closure had happened 6 years from now, how different it would be. You would probably be locked in your room the entire time, missing your friends. You most defiantly wouldn't be asking me to sleep over and color with you. You wouldn't be bonding with your sisters over tea parties or playing candy land. We are all thankful, for this time with you, that otherwise would have been lost.
Time is the silver lining in all of this madness. You are the silver lining. Yes some days may feel like there is no escape, because, well, there literally is not. Yes the moms will continue to joke about being quarantined with their little minion armies, but we know we are lucky, trust me. Soon this will all be over. There will be play dates, and mom dinner dates. It will be just a small moment in time that we talk about in the future to come. But, I hope it will be a time that you can look back on, and instead of remembering the fear and sadness that social distancing brought, you can remember the love and laughter we shared. I hope you will remember it as the small moment we got to experience each other at our best. I hope you will remember it as a gift. A gift that is truly priceless.
Love your momma.
I am aware all the moms are cracking jokes about being quarantined with their kids. I get it, I'm one of them. You must realize this is a big adjustment. Every day schedules are being tossed in the blender and you know I thrive on my schedule. Then there is the fact that moms do it all, and now we are adding teacher to our resume. The thought of having to teach a mini version of yourself and then pile the laundry on top, it's no wonder we all started to freak out. But after checking in with all my mom friends after the initial shock wore off, we all agreed, there is a silver lining to this chaos.
I went from getting 30 "good" hours with you, to getting you for 24/7. That 30 hours doesn't include the dreadful time we get during the week where we are struggling to get out the door in the morning, arguing over homework in the evenings or spent sleeping.The 24 waking hours on the weekend are no longer the greatest either. You're in recharge mode from the previous week. You're sleepy, you're lurking around the house looking for something to do, you're arguing with your sisters to give you space, and we are preparing for what the week ahead has in store. Life is a blur. Now, I'm getting time back with you, I otherwise wouldn't have had. This isn't like a summer break, or any other school break. This is time, that if it weren't for this dreadful virus, I never would have had with you. This time, is truly a gift.
I will admit the first week was rocky. We weren't sure how we fit into each other's daily week lives anymore. There were adjustments, and adjustments to those adjustments. There was a lot of repetitive explaining. You couldn't understand that this wasn't just a long weekend. That you weren't going back to see your friends or teachers any time soon. I think now, on week 2, we have got a good thing going on. You no longer ask if today is the day you go back to school. You stopped asking to have play dates. You get it now and I mostly, kind of, think I'm getting it too. I must say, now that we are getting it, I am loving it. I am loving getting more time to love you.
You're not the little boy I sent into kindergarten last fall. You have matured and grown way more than I realized until now. Instead of the constant fighting I am used to hearing in the evenings and weekends, our house has filled with laughter. You brought that laughter. I'm finally getting the best version of you, the version your teachers have been getting all this year. I have to admit, I am jealous. I figured this version of you still existed, but I ever so rarely get to witness it. Now I am getting to experience it full on. I had no idea how much I really missed you, until I got you back. It will honestly be hard to let you go again, just as it was on that very first day of school.Instead of the school week morning whirlwinds, there are sit down breakfasts. There is chatter about what we will do today. Then there is the time I get to truly see how much you have learned at school. There is you helping your sisters with their letter sounds and numbers. You're so helpful around the house. When you are fully charged, you're so willing to help with anything that needs done. Then there is coloring, we have done lots of coloring. Scavenger hunts, playing in the mud, board games and pretend play. We are getting the best of each other for a change and fully taking advantage of that. Watching you join your sister's tea party ( normally you wouldn't want to waste any of your free time doing such silly things ) and you playing house with them brings such a warmth to my heart. Your sisters will always remember these special times with you, I will make sure of it. The pictures of you dressed up in a wedding gown will be the proof if they do.
Last night you asked me if I wanted to have a sleep over with you in your room. You spent all day cleaning your room for the sleep over. Again, something you normally wouldn't want to waste your weekend time doing. We colored and ate popcorn in bed. We watched a movie and you laid your head on my belly. You let me run my fingers through your overgrown hair (my bad for not booking that hair cut sooner, now salons are closed). Then you started to softly snore and I moved you to your side of the bed and tucked you in. You snuggled right in to your favorite toys. So at peace. I laid there with popcorn kernels stuck to my legs, staring at your long eyelashes, because they are the only thing on you that hasn't changed. You're growing, all too fast. No longer my baby faced boy. God do I love your face. I can say that with out sounding too creepy, it's a privilege as a mother.I can't help but think, if this school closure had happened 6 years from now, how different it would be. You would probably be locked in your room the entire time, missing your friends. You most defiantly wouldn't be asking me to sleep over and color with you. You wouldn't be bonding with your sisters over tea parties or playing candy land. We are all thankful, for this time with you, that otherwise would have been lost.
Time is the silver lining in all of this madness. You are the silver lining. Yes some days may feel like there is no escape, because, well, there literally is not. Yes the moms will continue to joke about being quarantined with their little minion armies, but we know we are lucky, trust me. Soon this will all be over. There will be play dates, and mom dinner dates. It will be just a small moment in time that we talk about in the future to come. But, I hope it will be a time that you can look back on, and instead of remembering the fear and sadness that social distancing brought, you can remember the love and laughter we shared. I hope you will remember it as the small moment we got to experience each other at our best. I hope you will remember it as a gift. A gift that is truly priceless.
Love your momma.
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