Sweet Dreams

I was tucking in my son tonight. As I kissed him on the forehead, he looked up at me with his big brown eyes he got from his daddy and said "Love you mommy, sweet dreams, see you tomorrow."
 In that moment all the chaos from today just melted away. I no longer cared, that earlier, him and his twin baby sisters decided to use a box of wax paper as party streamers through my kitchen. All of a sudden the four different spots of pee I had to scrub out of my sofa because the girls are potty training seemed insignificant as did all the cheerios that got spilled all over my freshly cleaned living.

Moments like this, make all the minute to minute chaos of raising three children 4 years and under seem tolerable. I looked down at this little man that was growing so fast before me. It wasn't long ago I thought I would never sleep a full nights rest again in my life. I would be up almost every couple hours with him until he was 3. He was afraid to sleep alone in his room, and the nights he would stay in his room he was up restless, fighting sleep. Now here we are, he can get himself in and out of the shower by himself, and brush his own teeth. He picks out his own minion pajamas to wear, and gets his room ready for bed. He awakes in the morning wearing a groggy face, and bed hair while he sneaks to the kitchen to snag a snack cake before I get out of bed. His soft, chubby baby cheeks he once had are now thinning out. He is looking more and more like a mini version of his father. How does this happen so fast?

Before I had kids, I was baby sitting 3 siblings. When I went to tuck them into bed, I told them "Sweet dreams, sleep tight, I'll see you tomorrow." The eldest, who was 6, sat up in bed and asked me what that meant? I was dumbfounded. I asked her if her mother told her that when they got tucked in at night. I can still remember the blank look on her face when she told me that her mother doesn't tuck them into bed. They go on their own and she helped her younger brother to bed. Trying to justify her mother's actions,  I told the eldest that she was older so she was capable of taking herself to bed. I asked her if her mother told them goodnight before they went. She told me "sometimes, but most of the time she just tells us it's bed time and get to bed". The children were 6, 4 and 3....and their mother only "sometimes" said goodnight to them. My heart sunk for these children. Growing up, I remember how safe I always felt at bedtime. Even on the nights I didn't get tucked in for some reason, my mother always told me she loved me, and to have sweet dreams. I suppose I took for granted that all children experienced this. That night, I came down the stairs to my then, fiancé, with tears in my eyes. I made a promise to myself and to him, that my children would always feel safe at night, and there wouldn't be a night they went to bed with out knowing that I loved them.

So tonight, I had a parenting milestone for the books. I knew I had stayed true to my promise. My four year old could tell me "sweet dreams, I'll see you tomorrow" with out being prompted. It came natural to him, like it came so natural to me as a child, and as a parent. My son has a safe place, and it was here, with me, and the rest of our family. He will sleep peacefully tonight, knowing he will see me tomorrow. He will wake up and if he remembers any, will tell me about the dreams he had. Those sweet, sweet dreams. I will soak it all in, tonight, tomorrow, and every night. Because this is my sweet dream, coming to reality, as I live it, day to day. Moments like these are what help keep the sanity in an otherwise chaos filled life.